7 Tips to Regain Lost Confidence when Learning a Musical Instrument

I had a chat with a parent this week about how her child had started so well with piano lessons and then recently the enthusiasm had waned. She didn’t know why and I’d noticed it too. During the lockdown Zoom lessons I noticed that their keyboard’s touch-sensitive function was not operating, and it was a fairly new keyboard. Somehow the setting had changed to non-touch-sensitive. Consequently, that piano feel was lost. Once we got that fixed and I had a good look at the music we were covering, the pupil got back on track and was clearly much happier.

Also during the Zoom sessions, I discovered that some pupils were practicing on pianos that needed serious tuning. One piano had middle C sounding a complete semitone lower! For a beginner (or indeed any player), this is significant stuff. It means that when they play at their lesson, wherever I teach them, the piano will feel strange. They won’t play for me as confidently and that will affect their overall experience because the instrument feels so different.

Reflecting on times when I’ve lost confidence in my music playing, it is usually through thinking that someone else could do a better job than I’m doing. I might make more mistakes, have less musical skill, play with poor musical expression and the ‘imposter syndrome’ creeps in. But even just reading that back reminds me how ridiculously easy it is for any of us to allow the loss of confidence to undermine our enjoyment of our own musical experience. It is time for us to appreciate the simple joy of making music whatever stage we are at and appreciate the value of learning at that level. Our sense of fulfillment can come from seeing our personal progress.

How much do you think social media affects a loss of confidence? I’ve had conversations about how we only seem to post on social media all the good things that are happening, like when someone travels overseas—remember that thing that people did before lockdown—and then posts selfies in exotic places. Others are reticent to post what seems mundane by comparison. A current equivalent might be when someone has found an amazing backdrop picture to put in their Zoom link, while some of us have no idea how to do that and have to resort to the blank wall look and face to match. There I go, comparing again.

The potential for a loss of confidence in learning a musical instrument is something that must be addressed. It can lead to the learner giving up and realising in later life that they gave up too early. When you see it happening, here are some things you can do.

1. Check that the learner has a good instrument, and that it is set up right. If you need advice from your tutor, seek it. Check this link if you want to upgrade your keyboard. I have 3 keyboards that I reviewed on my resources page. It will show the sorts of things I look for in a keyboard. Just scroll down from the top to Physical Piano Teaching Resources to see the reviews. 
2. Have them play music that they enjoy at the beginning of their practice. Once they are in the swing of things, go to the areas that need a bit of work, or to new music to cover.
3. Be involved in whatever way you can. Even if you are busy, your child needs your verbal encouragement and affirmation. I can give it at the lesson, but what you add to that at home is massive.
4. Avoid comparisons. Help them see how far they personally have come since they began lessons. This is why it is good to maintain earlier pieces that are easy to play. When they are discouraged you can fall back on those pieces to help them see what they have achieved.
5. Keep practice times short and manageable. These may be different for each child.
6. Have another look at your reward systems. I have quite a lot of information on this in my course on How to Teach Your Child the Piano Like a Pro . But for those of you who are not teaching your own, you may like to redo the star chart on the fridge and lower your expectations on what is required to earn a star on a regular basis. If you would like a copy of this star chart, let me know.

7. Get comfy on some bean bags in the lounge and have a music listening date to some music on the instrument they are learning, to simply enjoy the sound of the instrument. Don’t focus on what they can’t do, but focus on the beauty created at the instrument. Remind them that all musicians had to start with basic things first and build up, one step at a time from there.

A loss of confidence in our learning does not need to last. It can be turned around with a kind word at the right time, a fresh goal, a change in perspective. Whatever it might be, I hope there is something here that can help in some way and be an encouragement to you.